Til Death Do Us Part? (or) Who’s Wife IS This, Anyway?

Reading The Bible: A Widow’s Perspective

Luke 20

All Intimacies will be with God

So this is a *funny* thought. Not really funny “ha-ha” but funny like…. Interesting and thought provoking. The saying :”Til Death Do Us Part”… this idea that family, love and intimacies outside of God are all temporary until we die, is that a man-made idea? Or does that concept come from the bible, a God-influenced scripture? Is everyone you ever loved, children and family included… all temporary? Either way – what does the bible say about what happens to marriage when one person dies? What if you remarry? Whose wife are you then, when you all die and are looking at each other in heaven (hopefully!) like “Well, now what” ?

So let’s rewind just a bit first. I’m way behind in my reading. I went on a much needed vacation and lost my whole motivation to read/blog this whole book on a schedule. Okay, not completely, but I certainly did not go “right back” to my bible reading weekly routine. I was recovering… and going through some things, to say the least. So fast forward 3 weeks – and I jump back into Luke where I left off, and see this particular passage. Read it with me. I want to see something…

27-33 Some Sadducees came up. This is the Jewish party that denies any possibility of resurrection. They asked, “Teacher, Moses wrote us that if a man dies and leaves a wife but no child, his brother is obligated to take the widow to wife and get her with child. Well, there once were seven brothers. The first took a wife. He died childless. The second married her and died, then the third, and eventually all seven had their turn, but no child. After all that, the wife died. That wife, now—in the resurrection whose wife is she? All seven married her.”

34-38 Jesus said, “Marriage is a major preoccupation here, but not there. Those who are included in the resurrection of the dead will no longer be concerned with marriage nor, of course, with death. They will have better things to think about, if you can believe it. All ecstasies and intimacies then will be with God. Even Moses exclaimed about resurrection at the burning bush, saying, ‘God: God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob!’ God isn’t the God of dead men, but of the living. To him all are alive.”

Now I’m just gonna sit here and let you absorb that. You get all of that? Let’s unpack that WHOLE thought-fart that just poofed into your face just now. Lol

  1. Did the Sadducees ask that long convoluted question JUST to be asking, because they didn’t believe in resurrection in the first place?
  2. Whoa, she married a LOT of people with the “expectation” of a child. Are we talking about married-married? Did they love her or just “know” her in the biblical sense? Did she love them? I feel like that matters when we are talking about whose wife she will be in her afterlife.
  3. How did all SEVEN husbands die? She’s like a Super widow?? That has to be horrible.  Poor thing. Or…. Maybe she reeaaaallly just didn’t want to be married… After the first 3 died, you would think the 4th brother would say.. OK …New plan!
  4. Have you ever had a new love or someone you know, ask you about that? Like “So babe, who would you choose – me, or your first husband, when you die?” Did you give them the same weird side eye that I did? Because I really think there are other things to be concerned about when you’re dead. At least initially.
  5. Then again Jesus says you wont be concerned with marriage OR death once resurrected. So there’s that. That’s interesting.
  6. My brother-in-law, bless his heart, years ago when it happened, actually mentioned the whole “marry your brother’s wife” thing to me. I know it was an off handed comment, and not meant to be taken literally. I know he felt like he just wanted to DO something to help me and the kids not have to struggle or need a man in the house. I got it. However, he too, got the side eye. I wanted to say, Do you KNOW what your brother would have said to you marrying me in his absence?? Lol #EEEK NO bro. Love you, but I’m ok.
  7. Jesus answers this whole crazy question by saying this: “All ecstasies and intimacies then will be with God”. SO who else thought, dang… so sex, companionship, marriage, and even the truest of soulmate love…. are all gonna be obsolete then. Thats ….kinda mind blowing!

So I posed this whole conversation to my new partner. He had some of the same comments and answers… some of them that would totally get him kicked out of bible study. Lol But his main answer got me thinking. He said: So when we die, does that mean we will have no feelings, no allegiances, no love for other people, no recollection of those we left behind or hoped to see once we died? All that will be left is our love for God? I didn’t really know how to answer. I kinda wish this had been elaborated on a little more, and maybe the more I read the more I’ll find. Personally, I don’t think it’s THAT extreme. It seems to me like there is still a knowledge of those you loved or those you were attached to, it just isn’t as important or as all-encompassing as your love and ecstasy and intimacy with God will be, once you crossover. But then… if it were that omnipresent – what happened with Lucifer? How’d he get so side-tracked?  

I suppose that’s a question for another day. At any rate, my takeaway here is this: Heaven’s so awesome, nothing else will matter. It will probably still exist, just not matter as much as the happiness and contentment God has for you in the resurrection. I really hope, for the sake of everyone who’s already gone over, that this is the case. It’s nice to imagine that they are happy there, but aren’t tortured by missing us too much.

Meditation: I will try not to worry about what God has for me in this life or in the afterlife. I have consistent proof that He cares for me and my loved ones day to day. I am constantly blessed, even in the smallest details of my life, and if God cares for those, then when it comes to the afterlife- mine or those I love- He must know what is important and what is not. I have nothing to fear and no worries for what will happen to my earthly ties, in the afterlife. It’s going to be ok. I trust it all in His hands.


  1. Kristin Bethune says:

    Wow Maya! That is truly thought provoking! This is the first time I have read this scripture and it has me thinking like so “is all this for nothing.” Not really for nothing but we marry this person and love them and honor our vows and then when they die it’s like okay it was only just a moment in time because ultimately our greatest love is and should always be for Christ! I am going to study that scripture and truly see what my perspective is. This is something to really think about?

    1. mayat says:

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! <3 It was a topic that bothered me for a long time - and that I ran into with dating A LOT! Kinda feels good to know there is something in the bible for EVERY thing!

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